Poker at the cash games continues to goes horribly bad. Dropped yet another buyin yesterday at the $20 tables which now puts me in the red after playing over 20,000 hands. Granted the current downswing is a little over 7 buyins and in the grand scheme of things 7 buyins is nothing and I understand that, but it is frustrating none the less. The only saving grace if the if this can even be counted as a saving grace is I am also struggling at the $10 tables which I normally crush so I know it's not because the stakes are higher that's affecting me its an overall downswing at the tables and there's not a damn thing I can do about it until it breaks. Day before yesterday classic example as I ended up losing a couple of buyins at the $20 tables after having to split two large pots because my opponent had the exact same cards as I did. In three other times had good solid hands yet I get outkicked. Yestetday I call a raise from an aggrodonk with AK, the flop is ace high, he bets and I raise the flop about 4x which he calls, I fire a 1/2 or three quarter bet on the turn which he calls with his A9o and three outs me on the river and my AK went down in flames. This and other various forms of bad beats have been a constant happening for the last 10,000 - 15,000 hands. These are the things that happen during downswings and it's just something that you have to deal with and play through until it snaps, but this one is a long one at least longer than I've seen previously, but since I've only been playing cash games since December 12th I do not have a lot of longevity to compare it with. The bottom line is losses for the month of February are inching towards $200 down. Got to turn this around, got to snap out of it.
Now the medical update. Recovery goes slow a lot slower than I would like. At times it feels like I'm not gaining any ground and other times it feels like I'm getting stronger every day. Doctors have me wearing oxygen at night when I'm sleeping but I don't have to do it during the day. I've been home a couple of days and I am so itching to get back on the Strip its not even funny. I can be a a notoriously the single most patient person when I'm at a poker table but in other aspects of my life patience is not one of my best suits. There's still pain in the lung, but the breathing is doing well. I'm getting in deep breaths, the breathing is not labored, but the pain in the lung tells me that the clots are still there and I'm continuing to take the blood thinners religiously as this is what truly will heal me. As it turns out according to my doctor the massive blood clot in my right lung actually killed part of the right lung, part of it is dead, but fortunately does not seem a large portion of it.
The hardest part for me to deal with is the psychological aspect of it. I'm always so damn cocky, so damn invincible and dealing with the prospect of I damn near came so close to dead at 48 is not sitting well with me. Its like I want to run away from it like it never happened but the pain in the lung and now lifetime pill taking there's always going to be a reminder.
I gave the caffeine pills to my roommate and told her to get rid of them and she then flushed them down the toilet. The caffeine pills did not cause my recent problems but the fact of the matter is my blood pressure was running 150/115 when they took me out in the ambulance and 4 days off of the pills and I was back down to 106/47. I decided to reorganize my schedule and simply play 12 to 10 each day instead of into the wee hours of the morning. I figure a rising blood pressure is a bad thing on multiple levels and I have certain friends that have been trying to drive that through my skull so I guess I finally listenef to someone other than myself, yeah I know a miracle lol.
Well that's going to wrap this one up. I'm going to start my session in about a half an hour and hopefully turning this cash game hideousness around. I don't have to get lucky I just have to avoid getting temporarily unlucky and its not even luck involved it simply the math and that always comes out as it should eventually. I'm thinking of introducing a tournament or two back into my daily play, but if I do, it will be just two of the $2 regular tournaments to start off with. So with that said I guess it's time to get to work soon. Have a great day everyone, take care, and I'll see you at the tables.