Sunday, May 8, 2016

The Final Return

I want to start this entry off with a shout-out to any and all readers that live in Las Vegas.  If you know of anybody renting a room out in their home or apartment or condo or whatever ranging in price from $300 to $500 a month with a smallish deposit and Wi-Fi included please let me know as I am leaving my current roommate situation on June 3rd and would be looking to move into the new place on that date. 

The return to no limit cash games online has gone three sessions so far and it started put completely horrendous and I'm talking to the tune of an immediate downswing in excess of 11 buyins at one point.  If you look at the $10NL:   May 2016 tab it doesn't look like it was that bad but after losing 4.7 buyins the first day, at one point on the second day I was down $64 down and it wasn't until the last four or five hundred hands of that session that I came barreling back.  I was hoping that that was a sign that this immediate 11 buyin down swing that I got slammed with in the first 4500 hands or so was turning around and tonight's session tells me that might be a distinct possibility because tonight's session I bounced back with a 5 buyin earning session in 1553 hands so it felt good to book a profit.  Although I am still down just under 2.3 buyins in these $10NL games it's a hell of a lot better than it was at that point on the second day when I was down over $110.  I'm fortunate that I have the ability to keep my A game going at all times even when down 11buyins as I was I did not start playing hands I shouldn't and I did not tilt in any way knowing that things would change, that the downward variance would turn.  However, this is the main thing that I despise about playing no-limit cash games is these insane swings.  $110 may not be a lot of money to 99% of my readers, but being a struggling poker grinder as I am it was a significant chunk, but fortunately I have been able to rebound.  

The $50 withdraw that I made and $20 that I spent on a tournament in which I was staked has been returned to the online account.  Since I have returned to the no-limit cash games which have absolute insane variance and more swings than a playground, in addition to returning that $70 to the WSOP account I decided to add an additional $100 to it.  The more buyins that I have in the bankroll the easier it will be to deal with the variance and the swings and also the faster I will get to $20NL which will not be happening until I have 20 full buyins available for it which will be a bank roll of $400 and then I will be adding one table of $20NL at a time.  It will definitely be a slow transition to the higher level. 

The title of this blog post is "The Final Return."  The meaning behind it is the return to the cash games and this will be the final return that I make.  I do not for one second expect any of my readers to believe that because of my past history of switching on and off different games and my last post was about utilizing variety so that I don't get bored, but the fact of the matter is this form of poker that I am grinding now is the only chance I have of getting to my $2,000 goal.  I have exhausted all other avenues.  I have tried everything else.  I tried the SNGs, but they're not prevalent enough to make it worth the time or make the earnings needed.  I tried grinding $1 and $2 and MTTs.  With the variance inherent in those and certain sustainable ROIs that can be expected while I will make a profit from them it's not enough.  It took me 10 days to make $14, can you imagine how long it would take to get to $2,000?  The limit games I would grind happily 24/7 but they are not available.  Every avenue has been explored and the only thing left, the only possibility for me, is grinding no limit cash games 10 to 14 hours a day and to work my way up to the $2,000 goal.  I do not expect any of my readers to believe that I am going to stick with this, but just sit back, enjoy the ride, and you will see I will be doing so this time not because I want to mind you, but because I have no other options available to me.

Immediately I can foresee possible comments both public and private about grinding 10 to 14 hours a day.  I know my readers already know without me even telling them that in order to maintain a schedule like that I am going to have to be on the caffeine stimulants.  I am going to have to risk the fact that they increase my blood pressure up to 155 over 105, and I'm also going to have to deal with the fact that I have recently found out, not all the time, but sometimes, they are giving me a heart arrhythmia. They are putting my heart into trigeminy PVCs.  If you don't know what that means it's a pre ventricular contraction of the heart.  The heart beats three times and then skips a beat, beats 3 times then skips a beat.  Not a very comfortable feeling in the slightest, and the best way I can describe it is it feels like there's a large butterfly right in the center of your chest flapping its wings a thousand miles an hour, but at the same time it's a needed risk.  Save the comments about me having a death wish or committing a Tonyism.  I do not have a death wish, but I am simply willing to risk certain things to get to where I want to be in my life.  I am not happy under the current poker circumstances grinding online and I will never be happy until I am playing live on a daily basis and to achieve that I am willing to risk certain things.  My reader base calls it foolish, I call it dedication.  That is not a death wish, it is not an attempt to commit suicide, but it is a case where a person is willing to take certain risks to be where they want to be in their life.  To me this is just too damn important and I am willing to risk it all if I have to.
I am not into astrology at all but a friend of mine looked up my horoscope yesterday and this is what it said.

"Talking about what your hopes are for the future is good -- after all, it's the first step toward making them a reality. But have you been spending too much time talking and not enough time doing? Right now you have to focus all of your energy on making at least one of your dreams come true! No one else can take you to where you want to go in life except yourself, so set aside some time today to come up with a game plan. One little baby step is all you need to take."

When I saw that to me it was screaming about my poker.  Certain things grabbed me.  "Not enough time doing" ............ "Right now you have to focus all of your energy on making at least one of your dreams come true" .............. "No one else can take you to where you want to go in life except yourself" It's funny, as I said I am not into astrology, but it's amazing sometimes how close one of these things can come to your everyday life or something very specific.  So even though I've never really followed the advice of a horoscope in my life I am following the advice on this one especially the part where it says focus all your energy.  

Finally, on June 3rd I will be leaving this sometimes psychotic roommate situation I've been living in for the last 8 months.  Things finally blew up to the point of false accusations of petty theft and to the point of complete ungratefulness in my opinion, to the point of just absolute disrespect, and I will no longer be a part of it.  I have done nothing, but care for these girls since I got here in late August of 2015 and as far as I am concerned I have had two proverbial knives plunged in my back, first by Misty then by her older daughter Cathy.  I'm done permanently with this situation.  To that end I have been checking Craigslist on a daily basis looking for people renting rooms or people looking for a roommate, but I am not moving till June 3rd at the earliest so right now that's exactly what I'm looking for, people advertising for a June move-in date. Fortunately, I had a talk with a friend who told me I did not have to worry if I didn't exactly have something on the 3rd because if need be I can crash with him for a couple of weeks while I continue to look for a place to rent.  I'm very fortunate that I have good people in my life.  At one time I thought the people I lived with fell under that category, but they have shown their true form.   I am hurt by all this and will be for some time, but at least I know their true colors.   

Well that wraps up this entry. Setting my alarm for 11 a.m. so that I can be on the tables by noon.  I will play for as long as I feel sharp, alert, have my "A" game at the table, and am not tired or fatigued.  It may only be till 10 p.m. it may be till midnight and may be till 2 in the morning it all depends on how I feel.  The minimum that I will do on a full day is 10 hours and with that I am getting in close to 2500 hands a day.  Yesterday I only played 1500 hands because I did not get started till 5:30pm, but most days that I do grind online is a full day.  With that said take care everyone and I'll see you at the tables.

10 comments:

  1. Wishing you the best of luck, as always.

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  2. That whole part about the heart thing has me shaking my head. You need mental help. GL

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  3. I've given up on trying to say anything regarding your health. You're an adult just as TBC is an adult. Flushhdraw's gonna Flushhdraw just as Tony's gonna Tony. Neither of you were ever the first poker playing train wrecks to hit Vegas and you won't be the last. Best of luck.

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    1. At least FLushhdraw goes to the doctors. Even though it takes either me or Michelle to browbeat him into going. Hell how much have people tried to get TBC help and he refuses way worse then FLush.

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    2. Flushhdraw also shows more appreciation to his friends and IS a better friend with a good (if a bit dark) sense of humor. Anyhow, one has to respect the choices of people who are over the age of majority who choose the lifestyle they choose. He is not a child.

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  4. to maintain a schedule like that I am going to have to be on the caffeine stimulants.

    You sure make me nervous. Ditto what Alysia said.

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  5. Flush, please sit down for an hour or two and think about all the options available in order to reach $2,000. If I was in your position and reaching $2000 had to be done, I would rather sleep in my car for two or three months and avoid paying rent than put my life/heart at risk. There has to be a better option where you can earn $2000 than the one you have chosen, I hope.

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    1. yes but living in a car for a few months in vegas is never a good idea with the high crime rate. Also how would living in a car help his situation? it may save some money but in the end it is more stress then it is worth,.

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    2. I'm not sure why it has to be Vegas instead of a smaller and safer town in NV. As for the stress, his current choice puts direct and immediate stress on his heart. Choosing another option has to be better for his health.

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  6. Mojo sounds like FD is addicted to caffeine.

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