Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Continuing Frustration

I cannot wait until I reach my $2,000 goal and can start my journey as a live full-time limit player starting out with $2/$4 and working my way up to perhaps $40/$80 or beyond who knows, the sky's the limit because the bullshit of online poker has me so frustrated it's not even funny. I get so sick and tired of the constant and I mean constant almost completely improbable happenings that I experience online that it borders on the ridiculous. When I do I hit my goal of $2,000 I am gladly going to turn my back on the online poker world forever.

Day 5 of what I call the focused restart actually started out pretty damn strong. I got started about 12:35 p.m. and within 2 hours I was up a little over $20 and then 4 hands on 4 different tables within 20 minutes and  two of them happening within seconds of one another.  Here's the screenshot of what happened.













From up $20 to down about (-$18) so nearly a 4 buyin swing in less than 20 minutes, but of course I'm told previously that swings like this is a problem in my game. Anyone that says that is an idiot as far as I'm concerned and these screenshots are showing just that.  Pokerdogg says frustration is a form of tilt, well if that's so I was plenty fkn tilted after this bullshit run of hands let me tell you, but not enough to let it effect my game.  I continued on playing the "A" game just figuring that this was obviously the 4th straight day of a downward variance streak and I would not let this or anything else alter me from my directed course.  3 hours in, 580 hands and down (-$17), but still 9 hours remaining in this session.  Bring it on!!!

It took three and a half hours and 500 more hands but just keeping things on a normal level I was able to grind it back up again. A couple of buyins in that length of time obviously doesn't seem like a great accomplishment but I was running pretty card dead during that time, not very many playable hands at all and when you're going through that where you become intimately acquainted with the fold button you take all the small gains you can and that's how I got those two buyins back was small gains no all-ins, no stacking anybody, just a little by little, a continuation but here, a steal there, that's sort of thing. Six and a half hours and 1100 hands into the session I was up $5. Someone remind me why I fired the tables up today lol. 

1270 hands in and I'm up about $8 for the session and this one hits.  We were all-in preflop and the purple tag indicates the player to be an aggro donk so the holdings were not a huge surprise, but come on already.  What did I do wrong in a previous life??




1270 hands and down $3 for the session.  %$#@#$%&#%$@#  {insert your choicedof curse words here}
Four hours to go in the session, 1460 hands up $1.  Why am I here lol.

1775 hands in and down ($16) again.  Had top pair top kicker and a flush draw, but unfortunately my over aggro type opponent already had the flush and then this next screenshot didn't help matters.






2 hours and 15 minutes left to go in this session so if I was going to break free of this downward variance that had been slammin me for the past 4 days it would have to be in the final couple of hours.  At this point I would be happy with a break even session the way things had gone today.  Not exactly helping my already dismal earn rate,but by this point I just was hoping for something positive to show itself in the last couple of hours.

Slipping downward further was my destiny.  Almost another full buyin down to minus (-$26) a break even session with less than 2 hours left would have felt like a win, but it was pretty clear there was no sign of that happening today.  In fact this one brought me to down (-$32)



2055 hands and down ($34).  Right at this point my first 9800 hands had produced earnings of $4.  Frustrated, irritated, the feeling that no matter what I do, what cards I play, I'm automatically wrong.  It's the worst feeling in the world for a poker player.  Knowing you are making every correct decision, calculating odds to form these decisions, putting your opponents on hand ranges and yet no matter what, it's wrong.  If you said the sky was blue, you'd be wrong.  That overall $4 in earnings did not last long as the session loss slipped to (-$39) and the account balance went to $199.  I had 45 minutes left in the session, but if all of a sudden things started turning around I would extend it.  That's what happened on the 10th when I was down ($60) and right at the end things started to flip back.  On that day I played longer than the planned 12 hours and was able to turn that (-$60) to a (-$28).  I had no overriding feeling that would happen tonight, but you never can tell.

Things improved slightly, but unfortunately it didn't stay on that track.  The following two hands were on the same table 4 hands apart.  Down (-$45) for the session. 





Account balance down to $186.  This session was just fkn ridiculous.  A swing of over 7 full buyins, $72 and not a damn thing I could do about it.  Was able to recoup a couple of buyins back and with the $3 in rakeback ended with an account balance of $206.54.  If this extended cooler drops me to $150 in my account I will have no choice, but to return to $1 and $2 tournaments, but only until I am back up to $200 again and then it would be right back on the cash games. I refuse to go broke and will employ the contingency plan if it becomes necessary and the way things have been going it looks like it's just a matter of time.  10,539 hands played and losses of a little over ($4).  When is it that I admit to myself that for whatever reason I am not going to be able to do this with cash games??  Is this simply normal variance??  I know I have played 99% perfect poker and I have gone over hand histories until my eyes were squirrelled and there's not a damn thing I would do different.  Is it time to abandon this or is 10,000 hands meaningless in the grand scheme of a cash game grind? I'm not ready to give up yet.  I enter Monday hoping beyond hope that those final 2 buyins I recouped was some sort of sign.  Time to hit the tables.  Hopefully the next entry will be more positive.  Take care everyone and I'll see you at the tables.


8 comments:

  1. The problem with your screenshots is that they give absolutely 0 information on how the hands played out.
    We just have to accept you say you played perfectly and you just got unlucky.

    Reading stuff like "Knowing you are making every correct decision" and "I know I have played 99% perfect poker" is so amazing.
    I think only Phil Helmuth would have the nerve to utter such words. I don't know any respectable poker player who would be so full of himself that he would tap himself on the back all the time like you do.
    I actually don't think I've ever heard you say you played bad, and I've got news for you sir, even the best players actually happen to play bad now and then.
    What about the small/middle size pots you never talk about ? They are also played to the perfection ?
    They are as important as the big pots fwiw.

    By the way, I often see you say that you've "encountered variance" when you start losing.
    Do you realise that variance isn't something that happens only when you lose ? It's part of the game as soon as you start playing it, whether you win or lose variance is part of it.
    And I think you play a very very high variance game, at full ring moreover, which is why I think something is very wrong with your game.
    The AA vs 55 hand is a good example...I hope for you it went in preflop because there is no chance it's correct to go broke on such a board, whether it's on flop, turn or river.
    But of course you're free to reject that and keep calling me an idiot like I've seen you doing in your latest posts :)

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    1. Okay Abe I've about had enough of this bullshit. From here on in any comments that you leave go directly to spam. You've only left a few so far and already I am in sick and tired of your constant negativity, your constant trying to tear me down, and your constant accusations that there's something wrong with my game, obviously I'm a bad player, you know what go to hell and go fuck yourself on the way down, I have had it with you. The AA verse 55 hand was a hand against a known overly aggressive opponent. He raised pre-flop we were heads up I decided to flat call him in an effort to trap and because I knew what he was going to do on that flop he had been doing the very same thing practically since I had seen him sit down at the table and just as I figured that's exactly what he did he immediately went all-in on the Flop as he had done several times previously it was a snap call but of course no matter what that player's style was, no matter what the circumstances was, no matter anything that I relay hear you will automatically say I am wrong. I flop the nut flush and get beat by a full house and I'm in the wrong, I'm all-in with the KK hands preflop, but I'm still wrong. It's so sad you have to be such a hater and as far as I know we do not personally know one another, but you know that's up to you if you want to be a negative influence fine you can do it somewhere else because your comments are no longer welcome here. And as a final note about variance being both good and bad, no shit Sherlock any first-year player knows that there is upward variance and there is downward variance why don't you try telling me something that I don't know. I have been playing this game for 12 fucking years and have never had a losing year aside from the very first year that I got into poker so take your advice, take your opinions, fold them five ways and shove them so far up your ass you can't feel them anymore. I'm done.

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    2. Abe may come across as too harsh, but he has some good points. Your screen shots serves only as bad beat stories due to lack of details, and no one plays 99% perfect poker even if such a thing can be measured. Personally if I only recognize 2 or 3 mistakes in a live session (say 240 hands), I consider that a good session. For every mistake I recognize, there are probably 10 that I could have played better.

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  2. FD, you are better off playing 1 table of NL25 than 4 tables of NL10.

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    1. On what basis are you making this recommendation?

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    2. Basing it on my own experience.

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  3. Just a question on the numbers bro, you said you have broken even at NL10 but your results on the right says you are up $39? How? And your numbers on the report I don't understand. June 10 you said "Rakeback was $23 so actual table earnings were $346.25" But the bulk of that money of $218.75 is under the heading Bonuses. So are you counting bonuses as on the table earnings?

    Sorry for the simple questions dude but, English isn't my first language so sometimes it's confusing.. good luck with your plan i am sure negative cooler downtime will reserve into sunny upswing day

    I am sure frustration crept in and a bit of a lack of discipline when you said you played 99% perfect poker, but what do you think are your biggest leaks in poker?

    Good luck bro looking forward to seeing the next post, hopefully you end up in the green

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  4. The haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

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