I ran into a pretty bad downswing about 10 buyins, actually maybe a little more but close enough and after ending the session tonight I had less than $140 left in my account. The $200 that I started June with and 20 buyins was not enough and I knew that if I did hit a downswing that I would be in trouble. I'm more convinced now than ever that not only is 20 not enough for the online grind I feel jat needs to be doubled to 40 buy ins as the standard bank roll for 4 tabling cash games online.
The downswing is immaterial, how many buyins the downswing contains is immaterial I am now paying the price for the last 6 months of utilizing profits and earnings to go out on the town for a day or two here and there, having fun on the Strip, on Fremont Street, wherever, whatever it doesn't matter. I never should have been put in a situation like this where I've got under $150 but I did it to myself. I have been getting an account statement per day for a different month each day, figuring out the earnings of that month, and documenting on the right side of the blog and also documenting the withdrawals. Looking at the partial month of December along with January, February, and March, just within that 4 month time span we are talking withdraws in excess of $800. That $800 should be in this bankroll. It should be in this bankroll and a 10 buyin downswing should be nothing more than a mere inconvenience that needs to be played through, but that's not the case. Instead the money that was withdrawn was blown plain and simple for frivolous enjoyment. Hell I could and should be close to if not past halfway to that $2,000 goal. What could have been, should have been, but simply is not.
I've got no choice. I cannot grind cash games on this bankroll and unless I have $400 available I don't plan on trying to either. I'm going to have to try to grind the $1 and $2 tournaments and two of the $3 deepstack rebuys, but I'm going to have to play those rebuys by simply buying into the tournament, no rebuys and no add-ons because quite frankly I can't afford it so I'm going to have to get very fortunate if I'm going to run deep in one of those. This is a temporary situation. As soon as I have $400 in the account I'm off these tournaments and back on the cash game grind.
This whole thing has me ready to physically throw up because I was so damn stupid about this whole thing. I'm paying the price for it and I've also learned from it, but I still have April and May to document and I'm fairly certain that the withdrawal amount is going to be in excess of $1,000. It certainly didn't seem that much at the time, but of course I really wasn't thinking about it. I was too focused on getting out on the town, doing what I wanted to do, and to hell with everything else. I guess you could say those decisions have come back to bite me right on the ass.
I'm about to grab some sleep and be on the tables in time for the $1 MTT that starts at 11:15am. The two $3 rebuys that I will play are at 12 noon and 4 p.m. and other than that it will be $1 and $2 tournaments only. There will be no $20 tournaments played and no other rebuys. I'm still shaking my head about the whole thing, but I've been scratching and fighting all my life and this is just another instance where I'm going to have to scratch and claw my way out of this mess. I know I can do it, I know I've got the skills to do it, and now I just need to make it happen. That's all for now. Take care everyone and I'll see you at the tables.