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Sunday, May 27, 2018

Setting The Record Straight For The Ignorant

No poker in this, but I'd like just to set the record straight. I copy and paste my blog entries that I write on Blogger over on two plus two and on CardsChat as well. Some people over at two plus two seem to think that if I can go play poker even a few times a week then I should be able to get a job at an office where I'm sitting down. Most of the people that read my blog on Blogger and especially those that follow me on Twitter know what is going on with me, but for those that may be ignorant about my conditions I'm going to lay it all out in this post.

Venous stasis in the legs is what put me on permanent disability in the first place and what Venous stasis is, is that the blood flows through the arteries down the leg just fine but does not come back up through the veins very well and what happens with this condition is the blood will pool at the bottom of the leg and disintegrate the skin from the inside creating ulcers which are open wounds, rather large, that take 12 to 18 months to heal and during that time you are hit with multiple infections not to mention the pain is extraordinary. When I have suffered with leg ulcers I have been in absolute agony for 14 straight hours and there's not a pain pill in the world that will help. 

I was judged to be permanently physically disabled in November of 2015 and started collecting disability in June of 2016. In the two years since that time I have been diagnosed with arthritis in the knees which is getting progressively worse, arthritis in both shoulders with a muscle tear in the right shoulder which requires cortisone shots every 3 months, as the orthopedist does not want to do surgery on it because the chair is small, but still painful, and arthritis in the lower back with one of the discs being bulging and a different disc is slipping, slow but sure, and the back surgeon told me one of the vertebrae is pressing against a nerve and that's the major reason and the need for the Percocets, muscle relaxants, and now the newest prescription a nerve pain killer.

In the last 6 months I have also developed a heart issue in which if I walk 30 or 40 steps my heart rate will jump to 130 to 140 beats a minute. As a matter of fact a nurse at a cardiologist office saw this with her own eyes when I walked from the waiting room into one of the exam rooms at the doctor's office and the heart rate was at 131 beats a minute for that very short walk.

I also have a breathing condition COPD and Asthma and in the summertime the intense heat aggravates that to the extreme. Because of whatever the cardiac condition is going on if I walked the two blocks to the bus stop from the house that I live in I will have to stop and rest and let the heart slow down at least twice. If I decide to go out and play poker and specifically if I play a couple tournaments that day I can barely move or straighten up for the next 24 hours and it takes 48 hours to completely recover from that outing. If I had a job in an office where I would be sitting for 8 hours the same thing would happen I would be unable to function for the next 2 days. How many employers do you think would put up with that.

Everything in my life is done in slow motion for all intents and purposes. Just getting out of my bed is it least a 30 second process. On those rare times where I go out with a friend on the Strip to hang out just walking through a casino I will have to stop three or four times usually and rest. This is one reason I don't like to go out with others because I know I'm just going to slow everyone down, but my friends are good people and they let me know all the time they don't care and it doesn't matter how long it takes to get where we're going to because we will get there eventually. Good friends are a priceless treasure in this world.

I have had blood clot issues since I was 28 years old and blood clots once put me in a coma for 10 days and to this day the doctors in Massachusetts do not know how I survived it as I had seven blood clots in my body. Currently right now the nurse practitioner that I see at my doctor's office thinks there is a high degree of probability that I have a blockage in the main femoral artery in the upper right thigh. I am scheduled for an ultrasound June 27th so between now and then I have to keep my movements to a bare minimum only going out when absolutely necessary such as picking up medicine and getting groceries. Too much movement could dislodge that blockage if there is one there and send it straight for the heart and that could have some very unfortunate results. A sitting job is a sure-fire way to get blood clots no doubt about it and say I was a file clerk in an office having to get up from the desk would be an experience. If you talk to some of my friends that have seen me getting up out of a chair they will tell you it's an adventure and the tendons or ligaments or whatever the hell it is cracked so loud it sounds like a rifle shot and they have asked me what that was and I simply told him those were my knees. Getting up is a slow painful process.

People will say, but with everything that you said and how much you are out of commission after a day of playing poker it would make sense for you to not to do that and just stay home and rest and take it easy and you know what, they would be absolutely right, but that is not living. My body may be broken in multiple ways, but if I did not play poker and I did not take those opportunities to go out and play live even though I know what it's going to do to me for the following two days that would not be living that would be existing and I refuse to do that. My mind, heart, and soul are still so strong and I have such a zest for that will never die even if my body refuses to cooperate.

I would rather be dead than just exist day to day in this world. Does playing live poker end up hurting me for the following two days, yes it most certainly does, but I will still do it as many times as I can, I will put up with the pain because I love poker that much. Not to mention the fact that all the work I ever did was in retail and no office job is ever going to hire somebody like me even if I didn't have these health issues going on because I have absolutely zero experience in that field.

It seems to me people should think before they open their mouths and tell people well if you can do this then you can be doing that. Because if you are able to go out and play poker you should be able to get an office job. I don't know if you realize it but that is probably the most retarded thing anybody could think because you don't know what the after effects of these things are and what the after effects would be if I was sitting at an office job for 8 hours a day and you don't know or have seen the day-to-day struggles that I go through. Instead some people should remain quiet and let the world think they are ignorant instead of opening their mouths and removing all doubt.

For the first year-and-a-half I lived on approximately $800 a month and $400 of that went to rent. If you think that's an easy life you've got another thing coming. If I could work I would be making considerably more than that even in the retail field. Yes I was fortunate that as a widower I was entitled to an extra benefit and that has made my life financially easier, but there is no way on God's green earth I could go out and get a job and if I try to tell an employer yes I can work for you one full day but I'll need the next two days to recuperate let's see how fast that gets anyone hired.

The bottom line is that if I'm in a job where I am standing which with the arthritis in the knees I could never do, but even if I did that is what creates Venous stasis ulcers, long periods of standing on your feet.  If I'm sitting at a job like office work as has been suggested I would definitely within a month or 2 be getting blood clots and in the hospital. Oh yes, I can totally see an employer putting up with that having me taking time off two, three, or four times a year to go in the hospital so they can cure the blood clots.

Before anybody says that yes I can get the blood clots from playing poker because I'm in a seated position as well, since I don't play live poker everyday and even if I had a million dollars to play poker my body would never allow me to play more than 3 times a week if that so the chance of blood clots are reduced under those circumstances because I'm not doing it for 8 hours a day 5 days a week.

I would like to conclude this entry by saying anybody that has the opinion that if I can do one thing I should be able to go to work I'd like you to live in my situation for a month. Go and live within my body for 30 days and see what I go through, the aches, the chronic pain, having to take 18 pills a day and after it's all said and done then you tell me what you think I should be able to do on a daily basis. In other words shut the fuck up. You don't know what the hell you're talking about, you don't know the exact circumstances of what I go through and you never will.  Nobody wants to be disabled, it is not something that they look forward to when they hit their late 40s, but it's something that I have to live with and that's the key word live. No matter how bad off I am, no matter how much I may hurt hour after hour, I refuse to roll over and stop living and if this, for some reason you find offensive well I got a real great suggestion for you.......... go to hell!!

Thank you for your attention in this matter I hope this has cleared up any further questions you may have, but if you do have further questions please submit them in triplicate and then shove them so far up your ass you can't feel it anymore. As always, take care everyone, and whether you like it or not, I'll see you at the tables.


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